Watching the Iowa Caucus

As I watch the Iowa Caucus I immediately chuckle because they just said cock. * And let’s admit it…so too do you. Just after about 24 minutes of this * I * try to get passed that fact. * Let me just begin by saying, in the eight years I have been eligible, I have never voted. So what comes next must be taken with a grain of salt; however, this is the first time I have taken such an interest in matters such as these.

Here are my observations:
Watching the Iowa Caucus is boring…it’s like watching a PTA meeting/popularity contest. Put a bunch of middle class white people in a middle school and have them act nice to each other to get them to hang out in their corner with “the cool kids.” And if your group of friends *doesn’t have enough people in it…you have to go join some other group that you feel less a part of. This is my initial gut reaction.

YET I CAN’T STOP WATCHING! It slowly turns from watching a meeting of high school principals to watching a horse race with people…and everyone in Kentucky *loves a good horse race, myself included. *Now I feel like I know what’s going on. Now I don’t feel like a political outsider…’cause it’s just like picking Daddy’sMoneyMaker in the 4th *, he’s good on a mud track and it’s a 73% chance of rain. (Wolfe Blitzer just said “hard” “poll” and “caucus” in the same sentence) * I’ve got my money on Former Senator and Law & Order alumni Fred Dalton Thompson…I mean come on- he was in Days of Thunder. So when I see that he’s running in third with 18% of the votes, I keep watching this slow horse race to see if he’s going to pull ahead and go into second. They update the screen every few minutes and the numbers shift and I imagine all of the 2008 presidential candidates running around a track. But then something crazy happens…

Why do we declare winners when only 32% of the votes are in? Honestly…isn’t that what got Florida in trouble back in 2000, Gore won, then Bush won, then no one won, and then Bush kinda won. So when Mike Huckabee is declared the winner with only 32% of the votes in, it’s like calling the horses back when they still have a ¼ mile left to run…what if Mike Huckabee pulls a hamstring and has to be put down in front of everyone, which gives Fred Thompson inspiration to sprint to the wire? Would you shoot all of the horses in a race if they weren’t in the lead 1/3 of the race in? *

As I have ranted too long, I’ll finish up with a few bullet points:

- Many people I know are scared of Evangelicals…but that doesn’t stop them from voting for one when faced against a Mormon.
- Tom Brokaw is cool, and if elections put him back on TV…I’ll vote for that.
- People should bet on elections like horse races. I’ll give you 50-1 odds on Kucinich.
- Every time you see one of these ( * ) in this blog…someone said cock on national TV…and I chuckled.

Happy Straw Polling

ben