Notes From The Kentucky State Fair:

- There’s something really sad about a bunch of schoolchildren walking around with AARP bags…this isn’t Halloween…its not trick or treating.
- Farmer Fred was once the coolest thing about the Fair…the real Farmer Fred…not that cartoon representation they have now, I don’t care if the old one’s head fell off…glue it back and have some respect for Farmer Fred.
- Cowboy hats…damn.
- Mike Linnig’s tent is expensive but worth it.
- Being drunk at 6pm to the point where people have to carry you is both amazing and disappointing.
- To the “Carny” who asked me if I was “Cruising the Midway for girls?” No. I wasn’t…you dirty gypsy pedophile fuck.
- Wearing a Ramones t-shirt to a concert is not a sin; however, wearing a Ramones t-shirt to a Boyz 2 Men concert is down right ignorant.
- Babies should never have MULLETS, they don’t have any business and they aren’t old enough to party.
- SAFETY TOWN RULES!

Life Without Zero

The mad blogger returns: I'm going to tell you why I'm mad, because the bottom three buttons on my cell phone are broken. This includes *, 0 and #, so just imagine trying to get a phone number from a girl at the club or texting one of your boys valuable information. Check it, the other day my housemate texted me the following: Rob where did you leave the rent money? I replied by texting, Ohiputitunderyournyhatontopofthetv. Kind of hard to read right, you see the zero button is also the spacebar when I text message… Oh and then there is the idea of setting your phone alarm, which I usually set for 10:00am...(beat/ relax R.G) Not this week, this week I've been getting up at 9:59am and the lost of that 1 minute is killing me. Finally, I went to the AT&T store to seek assistance for my zero button problem and guess what they had the nerve to tell me told me? (Sale Lady's Voice) Oh we can't help you here, but call this 1-800 number …wait STOP! How in the hell can I call a 1- 800 number if my 0 button doesn't work? You do the math!
R.G